चम्पू की kAVita

Pareshaan thi Champu ki wife
Non-happening thi jo uski life
Champu ko na milta tha aaram
Office main karta kaam hi kaam

Champu ke boss bhi the bade cool
Promotion ko har baar jate the bhul
Par bhulte nahi the wo deadline
Kaam to karwate the roz till nine

Champu bhi banna chata tha best
Isliye to wo nahi karta tha rest
Din raat karta wo boss ki gulami
Onsite ke ummid main deta salami

Din guzre aur guzre fir saal
Bura hota gaya Champu ka haal
Champu ko ab kuch yaad na rehta tha
Galti se Biwi ko Behenji kehta tha

Aakhir ek din Champu ko samjh aaya
Aur chod di usne Onsite ki moh maya
Boss se bola, "Tum kyon satate ho ?"
"Onsite ke laddu se buddu banate ho"

"Promotion do warna chala jaunga"
"Onsite dene par bhi wapis na aunga"
Boss haans ke bola "Nahi koi baat"
"Abhi aur bhi Champus hai mere paas"

"Yeh duniya Champuon se bhari hai"
"Sabko bas aage badhne ki padi hai"
"Tum na karoge to kisi aur se karunga"
"Tumhari tarah Ek aur Champu banaunga"

(WAKE UP CHAMPU)

_________________

MIcRoSoft LooKINg For New ChairmAn

Microsoft looking for New Chairman!

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Arun an Indian (Mumbai) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave.

2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.

Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Arun turns to the other candidate and says 'Kaisa hai re tu'

The other candidate answers 'Accha hai re'

Ways For BeIng Remain sLIm

Tips to remain slim

* First of all we must be determined to remain slim and work towards it. Develop a mind set towards it.

* Set realistic goals.

* Make lifestyle changes like giving up alcohol, smoking, avoiding fatty food, refined food,...

* Include fresh foods as far as possible as processed foods tend to contain high level of salt and sugar

* Do not expect immediate results.

* Never go for crash diets instead reduce weight gradually and slowly.

* Never skip meals as you tend to eat more, the next meal. Do not skip breakfast in particular.

* Include lot of fiber in your diet as it gives a feeling of fullness, thereby preventing you from gorging spicy and fatty food.

* Nuts contain lot of fiber .They are satisfying and cause people to eat less at meal time.

* Take warm lime juice mixed with honey the first thing in the morning.

* Go for skimmed milk.

* As far as possible avoid weight loss supplements.

* When you have cravings for sweets, take a fruit instead.

* When you have cravings for certain type of food like chocolates or ice cream, once in a while, you can take in small quantities .

* Take fruits and vegetables which has lot of water content like watermelons, cucumbers and white pumpkin..

* Keep yourself engaged as boredom leads to overeating.

* Drink lot of water, at least 8 glasses per day.

* Use the stairs instead of lift. Park the car a little far away and walk to your office. Use every opportunity to be physically active.

* Walk, Walk and Walk as much as possible .Even if you are busy, go for walk at least 5 days a week.

* Aerobic exercise like jogging, swimming, cycling, running accelerates weight loss. Consult a physician before starting any weight loss program.. Aerobic exercise combined with healthy eating will certainly help in weight reduction.

* Make your exercise session enjoyable.

* Keep yourself free of stress

* Finally, weight loss is a slow process, so do not get disappointed and give up.

10 most stupid question

Top 10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations

1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...


2. In the bus:A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...

Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.


3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask...

Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?


4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:-Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.


5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years

Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.


6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...

Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money.


7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes inAfrica marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.


8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...

Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..


9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...

Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.


10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your officeasks.. .

Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ...........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!